


tell me you don't, it feels like you do

by bigfootsflannel



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Handfasting, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Sylvix Week (Fire Emblem), Technically Felix/Ingrid too but not really, Weddings, the author forgot how weddings go but also doesn't care that much, the boys love each other so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:14:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26582731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigfootsflannel/pseuds/bigfootsflannel
Summary: Sylvain tried not to be a jealous person.But it felt like a cruel and twisted joke when he found out that there's been (another) Fraldarius-Galatea engagement. Felix and Ingrid were going to get married.[Sylvix Week 2020 Day One - Wedding]
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Kudos: 49
Collections: Sylvix Week 2020 Fic Collection





	tell me you don't, it feels like you do

Sylvain tried not to be a jealous person. He rarely succeeded in that, of course, but he tried. He tried to remind himself that he was in a pretty privileged position in life due to his family and his crest, no matter how much he hated those exact same circumstances.

But it felt like a cruel and twisted joke when he found out that there'd been (another) Fraldarius-Galatea engagement. Felix and Ingrid were going to get married. If the news itself didn't make his ears ring, he might have had it in him to make some inappropriate comments about Rodrigue trying to fit Felix into a Glenn-shaped hole that would never be appropriate for him.

In another lifetime, it might have made sense. It might have even been sweet, or romantic, and Sylvain would have been able to support it wholeheartedly. Instead, his whole heart belonged to Felix.

The worst part was that he'd been completely blindsided by it, and he had to hear it while looking Felix in the eye. They were in the Blue Lions classroom, surrounded by their friends and classmates, and even with Ingrid right there he could feel Felix's eyes on him. It was almost as though they were alone; he much rather would be.

It was near the beginning of their year at Garreg Mach, though to hear it discussed, it sounded like it had been in the works for a little while beforehand.

He wanted to be furious about it. Wanted to get on his horse and ride out to Fraldarius and give Rodrigue a piece of his mind. He'd assumed that the first step in that process would be to talk to Felix about it and get his honest feelings.

Of course, getting to Felix's honest feelings meant besting him - or at least tiring him out - on the training ground. He waited until they were the only ones there, and after a few good spars where he just managed to get the jump on Felix, they sit down together.

"You're actually going to go through with it?" he asked, and he knew he didn't need to specify exactly what he was talking about.

"Yes, I am," Felix said. He wouldn't look at Sylvain; it was difficult to be sure whether it was because of how he, in general, hated actually making eye contact, or because he specifically didn't want to look at Sylvain. He couldn't blame him either way.

"Why?"

"Because I have to," he said. He was inspecting his sword, and Sylvain highly doubts that there's anything wrong with it.

Felix has never given half a shit about what he had to do or what he was supposed to do. That was part of what Sylvain liked about him. "What do you mean, you have to? Aren't you the last person to care about duty?"

Groaning, he shook his head at him. "It's not about duty. It's about Ingrid," he said. "You and I both know that Count Galatea's problems didn't go away just because Glenn did. She feels she has to accept the marriage."

"So she agreed to it?" That felt just as unbelievable as everything else so far in all of this. Sylvain was still waiting to wake up at some point and be able to laugh about all of this. 

"She agreed to it. Like I said, she had to. I think we both felt like we had to," he said, shaking his head. "There's no way around it."

"There's always a way around it," he said. "She - she could have married just about anyone else. Dimitri, even."

Felix looked at him with plain distaste in his features. "I'm not feeding her to a wild boar."

"Okay, sure," he said, unwilling to try to have an argument about Dimitri again. "But - there are plenty of other nobles here at this very monastery." It would have turned Ingrid into the very kind of woman that he hated, but that wasn't at the top of his list of priorities here.

"It's better this way," Felix said. "At least I'll be married to someone I know I can stand."

"Is it? Is it better?"

"Sylvain," he responded, and he just sounded… tired.

"Felix," he said back, hearing every bit of his own misery in his voice.

"There never was a chance for us, you know that," he said. Sylvain could hear the apology in his words.

He knew that they would never have had a chance to have something, whether or not Felix had gotten engaged now. This year was meant to be an escape from that reality - a whole year spent just a couple of doors down from each other, without their fathers breathing down their necks, able to do whatever they wanted to. They'd spoken in hushed tones about it, between kisses hidden in alcoves they'd found when wandering their respective homes as children.

One day, they would both have to marry. And given that they were both men, and men of prominent lineages no less, their hands were tied. There was no future for them. 

"I hate this," he said.

Felix reached over, taking hold of his hand. It was more than he had ever gotten when there was a risk of them being spotted. "I'm not particularly fond of it myself."

They sat there, just like that, silent and miserable with their hands linked, until finally Sylvain pushed himself to his feet and suggested that they head down to the dining hall, a smile haphazardly glued back onto his face.

In the coming days, they made a few decisions. This year would still be a reprieve. They could still have stolen moments. Once they graduated, they would have to revisit things.

(They received Ingrid's blessing, because Sylvain wasn't quite the actor he thought himself, and Felix had to reveal that the love they held for each other was far beyond the platonic affection the world assumed it was.)

Months passed. The seasons changed and the young Fraldarius and Gautier were soaking in every moment of it that they could in between class and training sessions and missions. Sylvain spent many of his nights either in Felix's bed, or with Felix in his, held tight knowing it wouldn't last forever. 

It all came to an abrupt end when Edelgard declared war.

The days before her army arrived at the monastery were tense, and it almost felt like they were doomed. Edelgard's army was large, the church was scrambling, and Dimitri was more broken than anyone had ever seen him. Despite having been in battle before, it almost felt at though this was the first time Sylvain had really faced down the possibility of his own death.

He wasn't dissatisfied with his choices, if that was how things were going to end. The parts of his life that had been his to decide had been… good.

Still, a thought wrapped itself around his heart and squeezed until he had no choice but to act on it.

In the hall outside of their rooms, he took hold of Felix's hand. "I want to marry you."

"Sylvain," he said. "Haven't we talked about it, a thousand times?"

"We have, I know we have," he agreed, nodding quickly, his hand tightening on Felix's even though he hadn't made any attempt to pull away. "But we never saw this coming."

Sighing Felix shook his head. "It's different, yes, but… In reality, we know it won't actually change anything."

"Unless either of us dies. Which, I know, we're not allowed to do, but - " he let out a long breath. "I don't want to have any regrets."

"What is the grand plan if we get married, and we survive?"

"Then that's the best case scenario," he said, though he knew that they would have to deal with the consequences of an impulsive marriage made on the eve of war. "It doesn't even have to be a real marriage."

"You're being ridiculous. I'll still…" Felix's voice trailed off, and it appeared that he was running short of reasons not to go for it. His free hand went up to his face, rubbing over his slowly. "What would a not real marriage even mean?"

"We've already made big promises to each other," he pointed out, his thumb rubbing along the back of Felix's hand. "We make a few more promises. Maybe we exchange rings - wear them on the wrong hands, maybe, but we'll still know what they mean."

Felix was silent for a moment, rolling the thought over in his mind. "Okay, yes," he said eventually. "Let's get married."

A wide grin broke out across Sylvain's face, and he pulled Felix in for a hug. He kissed him again softly before he pulled back. "I'll take care of everything."

"Don't slack on your training. Don't get sloppy and die because you were so focused on marrying me," he said.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Sylvain said.

Over the next couple of days, he spent whatever free time he had getting everything worked out. He visited with Ingrid to make sure she was on board with this (yes, and she'd even attend their wedding because they'd need a witness), he picked out rings for them (simple, but still beautiful), and asking Byleth to officiate (they'd spent most of a year now just going along with anything that was asked of them, so there was no point in stopping now).

And finally, two nights before the Adrestian army arrived, they went up to the cathedral (late at night, so no one would see and ask what they were up to) and stood under the open sky. Byleth, Ingrid, and Mercedes - who had smelled gossip and dragged it out of Ingrid - were the only ones in attendance.

They were in their uniforms, and it almost didn't feel like a special occasion aside from the slight tremble that he could feel in Felix's hands that he wouldn't dare comment on.

It wasn't the most organized or by-the-books wedding, but it was what they had.

"You've prepared your vows?" Byleth prompted them, and they looked at each other for a moment, each steadying themselves, before they went on.

"Felix Fraldarius, you are the greatest person in my life. My best friend. I can't imagine my life without you in it," he said, looking at him and offering him a little smile. He took in a deep breath, going on, "No matter what the future holds, I will always be there for you. I will always be by your side. I'll make mistakes, we'll both make mistakes, but we'll get through them together. I will love you for the rest of my days, and whatever comes after."

He almost worried if he should have let Felix go first, because now he looked a little bit like he was struggling to speak. "Sylvain," he said eventually. "You know that I'm not the best talking about this sort of thing. But I love you, and I swear to always protect you. I'll be with you, regardless of what foolish plans you drag me into. I'll share my entire life with you, the good and the bad."

"Together until we die together," he whispered.

"Sylvain, do you take this man to be your husband?" Byleth asked. They'd debated the exact language, being that they wouldn't technically be married, but 'husband' stuck.

"I do."

"Felix, do you take this man to be your husband?"

"I do."

When they exchanged rings, there were tears in both their eyes.

Ingrid brought forward a handful of ribbons, her hands careful as she began to wind it around their joined hands.

"As you tie your hands together with this ribbon, you tie your lives together," Byleth spoke, their voice low and even.

Sylvain's eyes remained on their hands as they were bound together, barely able to listen to the speech he'd helped Byleth put together.

"May you always remember to count on each other. These are the hands of your best friend."

Sylvain glanced up at Felix's face. Seeing the affection and ever-present determination in his eyes warmed him. 

"These are the hands that will hold you through all the coming days."

He gave Felix's hands a squeeze, receiving the same in return.

"These are the hands that will provide comfort, when words will not suffice. May you hold each other through every high and low, and know you'll always be there for each other as husbands."

Sylvain kissed Felix, and for just a moment, the world was right. He could fight an entire army.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi, my twitter is the same: @bigfootsflannel


End file.
